Song of the week

I'm going through a rather sad time in my life, as you will have noted if you read this blog.  There are some lovely songs about grief in my collection.  I first heard this one live at Womadelaide festival in March 2011 and it brought me to tears as I thought of my Dad and that I would soon have to say a final goodbye to him.  It really captures the mood, perhaps she wrote it about a parent too....


Goodbye - Leah Flanagan

Goodbye is so hard to say

When you know you won't be saying it again

And each night this heavy heart breaks

For goodbye is a lifetime away

Well I, I have no lies

And for that I am proud

I didn't do it alone

'Cause I learnt from the best

You showed me how to love & then I made up the rest

Now I, I'm doing my own

To keep these demons out of my mind

And its hard to keep my head up high

With each sun going down I feel we're losing time

'Cause goodbye is so hard to say

When you know you won't be saying it again

And each night this heavy heart breaks

That goodbye is a lifetime away…

If I've been a sinner I'll confess till I bleed

I'll take a world's worth of punishment to have you alive not in dreams

Take these bones from my back, take all that I own

For life without you is a wine I don't know

'Cause when, when its the last sky

Changing with the pull of the tide

I remember the colours, and I remember them well

The Alyawarre people the ran ocean swell

'Cause goodbye is so hard to say

When you know you won't be saying it again

And each night this heavy heart breaks

For goodbye is a lifetime away

Another month, another move

Well, I've been back in Melbs a little over a month now and I've found a new place to call home.  It's in the Camberwell end of Kew about 1.5 Kms from Camberwell Station.  I'll be living with a couple from Peru, but he will be moving to the Gold Coast in a couple of months.

My new flatmate loves to Salsa, so that will be just one thing to look forward to!

At least this time I'm mostly all packed up so for once it will be an easy and simple move.  I'm looking forward to having my lovely comfy bed, the rest of my wardrobe and all my music and books around me.

But most of all I'm looking forward to having a place to call home again.  I've been of no fixed address for almost 3 months now and it's easy to get tired of it!

If you feel like helping me out on Saturday morning that would be grand!  I'm throwing in lunch and an invite to my housewarming dinner party for all helpers!  Give me a call and I'll let you know where we're meeting up.  Big Thanks to all those who've already put up their hands to help out.  Love ya! xo xo


P.S.  I'm hiring a van, so it won't look this this!

Goodbye Dad & Thank you

Roger Kenneth Ridley - 19-5-1953 to 15-12-2011

My dear Dad passed away on Thursday morning 15th December (local Perth time).  We thought he was sleeping peacefully after a difficult night till we noticed all the colour had gone from his face.  We were so thankful that his regular carer, Michael, was here as he just took charge and made sure Dad looked comfortable and was laid out properly.

Dad's last few months were so difficult for him and Mum.  He deteriorated so rapidly after their visit to us kids in Melbourne last August (to meet his twin Grandsons).  At that time he was still talking, eating and walking, but in recent weeks he was immobile, only drinking a few things (like coffee and his favourite tomato juice), and struggling to speak.  It was so heartbreaking bringing him home on Wednesday.  (He had a difficult journey as he cannot hold up his own head and it fell back during the journey).  It took some time for us to calm him down, but by later in the evening he was relaxed and happy watching 'The House of Elliot' on DVD.

I sure feel privileged that I could be here to support my Mum and to spend time with Dad these last days.  No one could ask for a better father.  He was the one who first told and showed me our Father's love too!  He preached the word with such integrity and passion, using stories to touch the heart and light a fire in the soul of anyone who heard him.  A couple of his sermon's are online, if you'd like to hear an example!  I'll attach a link.  If the topic was mission he was even more passionate... being a mission-kid and missionary himself.  He took God's word seriously and he and my mum always opened their home and lives to whoever needed them.  They have friends from all walks of life, religious faith, sexual orientation - none of these mattered to my Dad who just loved everyone he met.  We have been flooded with phone calls, visits, messages and facebook posts (over 50 just on my wall!) of those who fondly remember Roger.  I'm working on a poem that I'll put on my writing site.  It has been hard to write through all this, but my Dad was just so special that the words just come flooding out!

Dad and I had a pretty special relationship.  We were a bit like two peas in a pod!  (It often used to frustrate my family, especially Mum...)  We loved the same kind of things and enjoyed visiting Art galleries and museums together as we both loved to read all the citations!!  I remember all the special times I spent with Dad.  He took me to Melbourne Zoo for the day when I was having trouble saying goodbye to Panton Hill.  We went on a month-long road-trip from Adelaide to Darwin while Dad did deputation for Church Missionary Society.  He met my plane in Frankfurt last year and we spent 3 days in Dresden together (he made me wait half an hour so he could see the other locomotive on the model railway in Grosse Garden!).  Then earlier this year I took him up to New Norcia (a monastic town North of Perth). 

He'll be a hard yard-stick to measure up to.  He was gentle, considerate and kind.  He encouraged as well as provided guidance and fair discipline and most of all he just loved my Mum to bits and pieces!!

Dad, I miss you already, but I know you're in a better place now.  Father, I thank you for giving us Roger Kenneth Ridley for 58 wonderful years, you obviously need him more than we do, and I know you'll welcome him as a good and faithful servant.  I know you're singing at the top of your lungs in Brandenburg Praise room now Dad.  You've had a raucous reunion with Howard, your parents and others.  Dad, you helped me become the woman I am today, a servant of Jesus and a lover of life!  Thank you, and see you soon!

Joce xo xo xo xo

Dad and Martin Luther - Dresden, July 2010

Dad & Joce on the model railway - Grosse Garden, Dresden 2010

Joce & Dad at Thai restaurant, Dresden July 2010

Under the stars in Perth

I've been in Perth since Wednesday.  It has been good to spend time with Mum & Dad and provide them with any support that I can.  Hopefully Dad will come home early next week.  Dad's brother and sister-in-law are here too, and we're taking them out tonight for a free concert.  The West Australian Symphony Orchestra and Chorus under the stars.  It should be lovely.

The weather hasn't been too hot since I've been here, its actually been hotter in Melbourne!  I don't mind, it means I haven't had any trouble getting a good night's sleep and Mum has been sleeping better since my arrival too.

We are trying to get organised for all that is to come.  No one thinks Dad has long to go now, so we try to make the most of the time we have left.  All your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.

What are you doing to prepare for Christmas this year...?

Up in the Air

My life is all a bit up in the air at the moment... both literally and metaphorically.  I'm in the throws of moving house at present to no fixed abode.  I reality I will be helping to take care of my Dad in Perth, but I'll be living out of a suitcase in various places so not fixed there either.


I'm not a huge fan of all this uncertainty.  In many respects I've been here before, but I've never waited for someone this close to be to be called home.  It is hard to watch my Dad fading away and I hope it doesn't drag out too long for all our sakes.  He's had a good and fruitful life with much to thank God for, so I will have to keep that in mind all the time.

I'm really going for Mum's sake, so I hope I can be all that she needs at this time.  Not that I can hope to fill in all the gaps, but I'm going to need all the strength I can get.  So if you're of the praying inclination, that would be much appreciated.

I intend to return to Melbourne sometime in the New Year and take up that Millinery course at TAFE.  Can you see me as a Milliner?  In my wildest dreams I'd love to spend a year or so in Paris honing my craft, wouldn't that be something?!

Its at these times in life when our dreams are really important.  We all need something to look forward to.  Christmas for my family this year won't be as joyous as usual, but we knew that was always going to be on the cards.  None of us looks forward to saying goodbye to a loved one, but I just want to do it well.

I'll keep you in touch with my adventures as they come....

waiting....

I'm not a bit fan of waiting... but I've no choice at present.  I'm waiting to hear from WA for a phone interview and waiting to hear back about another opportunity as well.

I'm off to find a medieval costume for a wedding I'm going to on Friday.  Not sure about themed weddings, but I'm sure it will be fun.

I've also applied to a local TAFE to study Millinery next year.  Its a part-time night course so I'll be able to keep working, that is, if I have a job!  Sometimes I despair of finding the right kind of opportunity, haven't had a real good year, this year.

Not much else to report.  I'm enjoying being an Aunty to my two adorable nephews.  I really admire my sister, she seems to be taking it all in her stride.  They're growing and developing rapidly, I can just see them crawling all over the place and driving Mum crazy in no time at all!

Must away, I've a few errands to run before the sun sets... ciao for now!

Leaving on a jet plane....?

I'm currently investigating a locum job in rural WA.  Its about 2 hours North of Perth and close to my Aunt, Uncle and cousins.  It would be a good opportunity to work in the community as well as being closer to my parents and able to provide more support for Mum.

I haven't heard back from them yet, but here's hoping.  If you're of the praying persuasion all prayers appreciated!

Will keep you posted... literally!

Enjoy your weekend, we're expecting a beautiful spring-ish day tomorrow... so if you're in Melbs... why not go for a picnic!  I might visit 'the nongs' Tschuss xo