I'm not asleep... I'm watching the "Hottest 100 of all time 2009 top 50 video clips" on RAGE... keeping an eye on the Cricket, doing housework, chatting to friends on skype, texting, calling, leaving messages...
all I really need is to talk to someone... so I've been avoiding talking to the only one who really hears all day!
Why?
So that gets me to thinking about Job, and suffering... again. I do not like bad news, and along with much good stuff of late... there's definately been some bad stuff. It's not that I can't get through it.. I even chose not to strangle the woman who (upon giving me bad news) remarked... "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" (If I could only tell you what HASN'T KILLED ME in the last 12 years, or so....) NOT HELPFUL, but thank you. :P
I want to be a child... angry, wingeing, crying, worrying, moping, wishing, dreaming, playing...
As an adult I know that most of the first things are conterproductive... but do I care? Not in the slightest. I feel pain, and God is strong enough to handle this initial response of mine. It's not new, we've been here before and I'm sure we'll come right back here again, and again...
Until I really learn the truth of 1 Peter 5:7
I only know this verse because we sing it regularly in church!
Cast your burdens upon Jesus for he cares for you.
Still... when you think about it... Ignorance is bliss.... if I didn't know what I do... it wouldn't hurt nearly as much as it will!!! And I come full circle again.... must be time for bed.
Please pray for my Dad, Mum, me and my family. I want us to treasure these few weeks together for all they're worth... not worrying about what we cannot change... preparing ourselves well for what may come... but leaving the rest to our Father. He's never failed me yet! (after all) <><
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