Thursday, March 26, 2009

Upon not sleeping - warning this is a rambling post, beware!

Oh, I just have to smile (or cry) at the irony and agony... am I just my own worst enemy, or am I also just an ordinary christian struggling with sin..?

Well, at any rate its still lent, less than one full week till Easter comes in all its glory.  In my "high" anglican years (Read that as "anglo-catholic") if you wish.  I learnt to enjoy all the "religiousness" around the seasons of the Christian Calendar.  My favourite festival easily became Holy Week - which is Palm Sunday through to Easter (Sunday).  At my school we had reminders of Palm Sunday in Chapel on Monday morning, or perhaps even the Friday before... With green palm fronds and appropriate hymns and prayers and reflections.  Then, yes on Monday morning all the ornaments in the Chapel would be covered over with purple cloths and so would begin our week of "special" chapel events.  The Stations of the Cross... and the divine, oh so divine setting of a special easter hymn... who's name escapes me... Help Glenda, do you remember?  Actually, I think it alternated one year would be stations and the next would be the special hymn (special because it was so long, told the whole story of Easter, and was interspersed with string chamber music, organ, soloists and choir and congregational singing... oh it was beautiful and painful... the agony and the ecstasy that is Easter, captured in a beautiful peace of music (as an aside, I also have to mention that the chapel had wonderful acoustics)  The week (at school) would culminate on Thursday (Maundy Thursday in holy week)  With a fairly solemn Eucharist, (well they all were a bit solemn) but this one also beautiful because it was the tradition for the principal to wash the feet of one girl from each year level of the school... prior to communion, or straight afterwards (bummer how that memory fails me... and it was only 11 years ago!!!)

Anyway, I've completely gone off topic for a ramble there... where was I?  Yes, Lent... well when lent began I was thinking about things I could (but didn't) give up as a fast for lent... in my church we are encouraged to fast, or not fast, in whatever way we think appropriate, but mainly to spend more time in reflection and prayer as we progress toward Easter... at any rate.  I just had to moan to God tonight (something I regularly do when I haven't had a good night's sleep) that one thing that briefly crossed my mind (in addition to "the internet" not practical, and "food" also not practical) was sleep... also not practical, as I distinctly remember thinking... but that could well leave me insane or very ill before it gets to Easter... well its 4.35am on the 26th of March... this time next week is Maundy Thursday (a night to remember the Last Supper, Jesus in the Garden & his betrayal and arrest)... and I'm well on the way to an "all nighter" just couldn't switch off tonight, eventually gave up, put another reflection in  my journal, turned of the light, began to sing a song (I often attempt to sing myself to sleep) which made me cry... (or was that before the journal.... (long nights, also not ze gut for the forgettory)  Oh anyway, here I am at 4.41 - NOT ASLEEP.  Did I actually promise to give up sleep for lent?? Well no, but I did think about it... and I had also thanked God just prior to Lent that sometimes I don't even have to pray for something "properly" like with Dear God.... amen, but that I could basically "think" about it and God answered my prayer, provided my need... does that also mean that because I thought about it... no, now I'm being silly, and I'm back again to the "my own worst enemy"/just an ordinary christian struggling with sin argument.

Upon not sleeping... how pointless!

Oh, but back to School and holy week... after every Eucharist the girls were "rewarded" for being on their "best behaviour" in chapel by getting a pastry treat... I'm fairly certain it was Hot Cross Buns after Thursday's Eucharist (one day early for the strictly faithful... how many of them are there nowadays??)

Mmm, actually, I loved Holy Week before school too... Maundy Thursday can have a special night time service... what's it called, Dad?  Where a series of readings, quiet hymns/reflections/prayers are divided by the extinguishing of candles... so that by the end of the service the congregation is in complete darkness... One very memorable Maundy Thursday night, I attended the service in a tiny little church that did not have electricity, so that when all the candles were extinguished it really was dark... and my Dad (the minister) and another member of the church had prearranged a special reminder of how shocking, scary and dark that moment of betrayal was... do you want to know how???  

tee hee, hee... stay tuned (for another exciting episode of Joce's rambling ravings!!!)

4 comments:

Gaynor said...

Tenebrae service is what it is called! Yes, great memories. I do like the traditional Easter services I must admit, but that's not likely here!

Just a little reminder that it is not Holy Week next week but the week after! You have a little longer to wait!

Love you, Mum xx

Joce said...

Oh, yes, yes, I do know... and an additional week to wait for daylight saving to finish... I even know it's Friday the 27th of March (and I'm not at work, had 9 hours sleep, a half-hour walk that took an hour because I way daydreaming so walked around in circles thinking I was lost!!)
Just another Joce kinda-day.

But 9 hours sleep!! Bliss <><

Joce said...

Oh, and Tennebrae... thanks for that... wasn't quite on the tip of my tongue!! ;)

Pat said...

OK sweetie, you've slept long enough. Time to give us a new post!!
love ya!
xoxo