Brrrrrr

Have you seen the latest Coke add?  It's kinda funky in a way... though I'm sure it will grow to become rather irritating... kind of like my patients sometimes... at first they're cute, or you laugh off their "quirks", but soon enough those same things infuriate you... ah well.... tis life I guess.

I'm thick in the mire of house hunting and packing up... two things for which you will have already noted I'm not a big fan of.  Finding a "perfect home" is not easy.  Nor is packing up and saying goodbye to the place you've been calling home for the last 12 months or so.

I won't miss....

• The cold floorboards (they were great in the summer though!)
• the creaky venetians
• the noisy traffic
• the creaky doors
• the lack of doors between my room and the kitchen....

I will miss....

• The great big backyard
• My housemate practising the piano
• The comforting sound of friends in the house
• The walks... from Rosanna Station to home, and the circuit along the wetlands
• my quick & easy route to the Eastern Freeway

Both lists could have many more items... and some items could fit on both lists!  The more bothersome list is the "things to do before the end of June"  I won't share that one with you, suffice to say its all about sorting, packing, cleaning and throwing away... the nuts and bolts of moving.  Ugh... time for bed!

I appreciate all your thoughts, prayers and suggestions as I wearily approach June 28th (there ain't enough hours between now and then, either!)

Tschuss till next time... <><

P.S.  Check out Cassa Verba's latest post for a moment of pure joy ;)

http://cassaverba.blogspot.com/2009/06/sound-of-music-stunt.html#links

Homeless

Or I soon will be if I don't find a new place to live by about the 27th of June and counting!

I'll be dog/house sitting for my sister for a week till the 2nd... but that's still not very long.

I've been homeless before, so I can manage for a bit, but its no fun really.  I'm so sick of the moving thing, I've changed address almost too many times to count in the last decade... If I could afford it, I think I'd buy a caravan! ;)  Nah, a houseboat! 

I'd appreciate your prayers, ideas, suggestions over the next two weeks or so....

I really don't want to be homeless :(

Everyday & Moving... a "monday muse"

There's a song I know called Everyday... (Everyday it's you I live for, everyday I'll follow after you, everyday I'll worship you my Lord)  There's another one called Moving (Moving, keep on moving, I've been moving so long the days all feel the same)... There are very different reasons why I like these songs and why they speak to me.

Everyday is pretty obvious... I'm a Christian and so everyday I thank God I'm alive, that he's with me and that hopefully I can give him glory.  This song is all about that and so I like to sing it!

Moving is different.  Its not a P & W, rather an alt-pop song by a band called Supergrass.  I first heard it one long Adelaide summer as a teenager... It has a moving kind of medley and rhythm, on suited to staring blankly out of bus or train windows as the world rushes by (or you rush by the world)  I like it 'cause it has a real gypsy soul, like mine... I have always been a "mover" first because my parents did, and now because I can't seem to stay still!! But I don't agree with all the lyrics... 

firstly, my days rarely always seem the same!  I could post a lot about my varying days (but I'm too busy!)

second the chorus goes ... there's a love, love feeling around me and a stone cold feeling inside.  I just can't stop messing my mind up and wasting my time (ooo).  There's a more-love feeling around me and a stone cold feeling inside.  I've got to find somebody to help me, I'll keep you in mind.  Now I'm very, very rarely stone cold inside... being the all-loved all loving gal that I am... though I do have a tendency to lonliness.  And that probably doesn't make sense upon first reading...  

Mmmm... I'm obsessed with Love.  I know I'm loved (by God, by my parents, by family and friends) but I also need constant reminding that I'm loved as I can be very hard on myself, and also so selfish.  When all I am doing is thinking about me; I get very sad and lonely.  

I also love loving... I love my God and the world and all the beautiful things in creation.  I love my family and friends.  I love everyone really (and sometimes I feel like I've given all my love away with little in return, but that probably for another post).

Where am I going with this?  Back to lonliness and being a mover.  Back to being on a journey.  Here in the world, but not home.  Comfortable, but fully knowing that there are so many around me who aren't.  Knowing that there's something great around the corner, but just not quite here yet.

I'm in a time of my life where I feel like I've journeyed through some really hard and difficult times... and now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  No, now I am so close to the top of the hill.  Still I'm not in a place where I can just enjoy the view... there's too much to do, and so little time to do it in.  But

• I'm tired, and sick and tired of being sick & tired, and I want to be well!
• I have so much but I want so much more!
• There's so much I want to do, but just don't seem to have time for!!

And it's almost 6 months into my "year of getting 'round to it"... and I haven't quite got 'round to it all.... Oh, but I'm tired, and it's 10.30pm and time for me to turn in for the night.

So everyday I'll keep moving, keep praising and praying, keep on keeping on... until its time to rest.  I'm not quite balanced with the rest, the recreation, the work... but I'm getting there.

It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.

The merry month of May

I love May in Melbourne... the beautiful Autumn weather and colours... the fuss about Mother's Day... the fact that I'm settling into my work more and more.

May also brings my parents wedding anniversary... so here's a pic of them with the flower's I arranged from their kids.  Even managed to surprise Mum, so that was even better!

Upon not sleeping - warning this is a rambling post, beware!

Oh, I just have to smile (or cry) at the irony and agony... am I just my own worst enemy, or am I also just an ordinary christian struggling with sin..?

Well, at any rate its still lent, less than one full week till Easter comes in all its glory.  In my "high" anglican years (Read that as "anglo-catholic") if you wish.  I learnt to enjoy all the "religiousness" around the seasons of the Christian Calendar.  My favourite festival easily became Holy Week - which is Palm Sunday through to Easter (Sunday).  At my school we had reminders of Palm Sunday in Chapel on Monday morning, or perhaps even the Friday before... With green palm fronds and appropriate hymns and prayers and reflections.  Then, yes on Monday morning all the ornaments in the Chapel would be covered over with purple cloths and so would begin our week of "special" chapel events.  The Stations of the Cross... and the divine, oh so divine setting of a special easter hymn... who's name escapes me... Help Glenda, do you remember?  Actually, I think it alternated one year would be stations and the next would be the special hymn (special because it was so long, told the whole story of Easter, and was interspersed with string chamber music, organ, soloists and choir and congregational singing... oh it was beautiful and painful... the agony and the ecstasy that is Easter, captured in a beautiful peace of music (as an aside, I also have to mention that the chapel had wonderful acoustics)  The week (at school) would culminate on Thursday (Maundy Thursday in holy week)  With a fairly solemn Eucharist, (well they all were a bit solemn) but this one also beautiful because it was the tradition for the principal to wash the feet of one girl from each year level of the school... prior to communion, or straight afterwards (bummer how that memory fails me... and it was only 11 years ago!!!)

Anyway, I've completely gone off topic for a ramble there... where was I?  Yes, Lent... well when lent began I was thinking about things I could (but didn't) give up as a fast for lent... in my church we are encouraged to fast, or not fast, in whatever way we think appropriate, but mainly to spend more time in reflection and prayer as we progress toward Easter... at any rate.  I just had to moan to God tonight (something I regularly do when I haven't had a good night's sleep) that one thing that briefly crossed my mind (in addition to "the internet" not practical, and "food" also not practical) was sleep... also not practical, as I distinctly remember thinking... but that could well leave me insane or very ill before it gets to Easter... well its 4.35am on the 26th of March... this time next week is Maundy Thursday (a night to remember the Last Supper, Jesus in the Garden & his betrayal and arrest)... and I'm well on the way to an "all nighter" just couldn't switch off tonight, eventually gave up, put another reflection in  my journal, turned of the light, began to sing a song (I often attempt to sing myself to sleep) which made me cry... (or was that before the journal.... (long nights, also not ze gut for the forgettory)  Oh anyway, here I am at 4.41 - NOT ASLEEP.  Did I actually promise to give up sleep for lent?? Well no, but I did think about it... and I had also thanked God just prior to Lent that sometimes I don't even have to pray for something "properly" like with Dear God.... amen, but that I could basically "think" about it and God answered my prayer, provided my need... does that also mean that because I thought about it... no, now I'm being silly, and I'm back again to the "my own worst enemy"/just an ordinary christian struggling with sin argument.

Upon not sleeping... how pointless!

Oh, but back to School and holy week... after every Eucharist the girls were "rewarded" for being on their "best behaviour" in chapel by getting a pastry treat... I'm fairly certain it was Hot Cross Buns after Thursday's Eucharist (one day early for the strictly faithful... how many of them are there nowadays??)

Mmm, actually, I loved Holy Week before school too... Maundy Thursday can have a special night time service... what's it called, Dad?  Where a series of readings, quiet hymns/reflections/prayers are divided by the extinguishing of candles... so that by the end of the service the congregation is in complete darkness... One very memorable Maundy Thursday night, I attended the service in a tiny little church that did not have electricity, so that when all the candles were extinguished it really was dark... and my Dad (the minister) and another member of the church had prearranged a special reminder of how shocking, scary and dark that moment of betrayal was... do you want to know how???  

tee hee, hee... stay tuned (for another exciting episode of Joce's rambling ravings!!!)

Belated Blogging

I cannot seem to get my act together lately so am belatedly blogging best birthday wishes to my beautiful little bliss, Glenda, and my bella Aunty Irene (I have another name for her but those who've read Roald Dhal would think it uncomplimentry, so I won't tell you!!!)

It was Glenda's birthday on the 7th... I don't remember her birth as I'm only 21 months older than her, but I do recall that it was a Sunday, that her birthweight was a little higher than mine, and that she's the fair, smiling, benevolent one (compared to me.... hence the name Bliss)

No really, she brings sunshine into the lives of those she knows and loves, and I suspect even into the lives of those she doesn't really know... I have a memory of a Christian folk singer's song about sunshine at the edge of my brain (Help me Mum, what is it?? Evie...)  Glenda used to love that song.

Anyway... over the years we've done the usual sister kind of things, and mostly I look back in fondness.  Recently too, as we caught up over hot drinks post a session at the Rivoli we had to agree that our relationship has gone from a difficult patch to a new strength.  So I just want to Thank God for giving me such a beautiful little sis, and thank my sister for the encouragement and support she's lavished on me over the years.  I really do appreciate it!

Now to Aunty Irene... what can I say?  You're the third of five sisters... born on March 12th, my only Aunty who doesn't have children of her own, and.... I would have to say you're the Aunt who keeps in touch most often and keeps the memory of my special West Australian family close by.  You always have a cuppa and a listening ear ready, you've always demonstrated love, interest, enjoyment in the things I've achieved (or not quite), the times we've spent together, the letters and phone calls we've exchanged, and even the advice that you've dispenced is so treasured and appreciated.  Though we've never lived nearby one another, you've always been close.  So thank you for always making an effort with your distant neices and nephews and I'll continue to look forward the next pot of PoW, or G&T, or new & delicious Indian restaurant... that we can share together!  

Happy Birthday Aunty Irene, sorry I didn't get that birthday card in the post... an extra special letter on the way... but glad that you were spoilt on your special day (and apologies from Tim that he woke you!!) (wink)  here's a pic  of Mum and Irene with Mum's place in Schopfheim in the background (Irene gets to visit her more often than I do)... which one is which?

It's all about a 4 day week!

Well, some days are better than others, and if you can see what time I posted my last entry... you will know why today is not one of my better days... but that's just the thing... because I work a 4 day week (and I have to be at work on Friday for a meeting at 0830) I decided the best thing for me to do was to have a MHD today and work on Friday instead.... no doctors, no use of sick leave... Yep, its all about flexi-time!

And I get to sleep in on Monday, as I have a medical appointment at the Northen Hospital at 10am... so no point in busting my gut to get to work at 0830 on Monday only to leave at 0900 to get from Elsternwick to Epping.  So I'll do a half, day on Monday... which means Friday work makes even more sense as I have a case conference pretty well straight after lunch on Monday.

Busy, busy, busy... but with flexi-time... not insane or sick!

Here's to keeping my love of the job and not burning out -

cheers....

and hope you're Tuesday is going good too <><