There's a song I know called Everyday... (Everyday it's you I live for, everyday I'll follow after you, everyday I'll worship you my Lord) There's another one called Moving (Moving, keep on moving, I've been moving so long the days all feel the same)... There are very different reasons why I like these songs and why they speak to me.
Everyday is pretty obvious... I'm a Christian and so everyday I thank God I'm alive, that he's with me and that hopefully I can give him glory. This song is all about that and so I like to sing it!
Moving is different. Its not a P & W, rather an alt-pop song by a band called Supergrass. I first heard it one long Adelaide summer as a teenager... It has a moving kind of medley and rhythm, on suited to staring blankly out of bus or train windows as the world rushes by (or you rush by the world) I like it 'cause it has a real gypsy soul, like mine... I have always been a "mover" first because my parents did, and now because I can't seem to stay still!! But I don't agree with all the lyrics...
firstly, my days rarely always seem the same! I could post a lot about my varying days (but I'm too busy!)
second the chorus goes ... there's a love, love feeling around me and a stone cold feeling inside. I just can't stop messing my mind up and wasting my time (ooo). There's a more-love feeling around me and a stone cold feeling inside. I've got to find somebody to help me, I'll keep you in mind. Now I'm very, very rarely stone cold inside... being the all-loved all loving gal that I am... though I do have a tendency to lonliness. And that probably doesn't make sense upon first reading...
Mmmm... I'm obsessed with Love. I know I'm loved (by God, by my parents, by family and friends) but I also need constant reminding that I'm loved as I can be very hard on myself, and also so selfish. When all I am doing is thinking about me; I get very sad and lonely.
I also love loving... I love my God and the world and all the beautiful things in creation. I love my family and friends. I love everyone really (and sometimes I feel like I've given all my love away with little in return, but that probably for another post).
Where am I going with this? Back to lonliness and being a mover. Back to being on a journey. Here in the world, but not home. Comfortable, but fully knowing that there are so many around me who aren't. Knowing that there's something great around the corner, but just not quite here yet.
I'm in a time of my life where I feel like I've journeyed through some really hard and difficult times... and now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. No, now I am so close to the top of the hill. Still I'm not in a place where I can just enjoy the view... there's too much to do, and so little time to do it in. But
- I'm tired, and sick and tired of being sick & tired, and I want to be well!
- I have so much but I want so much more!
- There's so much I want to do, but just don't seem to have time for!!
And it's almost 6 months into my "year of getting 'round to it"... and I haven't quite got 'round to it all.... Oh, but I'm tired, and it's 10.30pm and time for me to turn in for the night.
So everyday I'll keep moving, keep praising and praying, keep on keeping on... until its time to rest. I'm not quite balanced with the rest, the recreation, the work... but I'm getting there.
It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.
