Saturday, December 17, 2011

Goodbye Dad & Thank you

Roger Kenneth Ridley - 19-5-1953 to 15-12-2011
My dear Dad passed away on Thursday morning 15th December (local Perth time).  We thought he was sleeping peacefully after a difficult night till we noticed all the colour had gone from his face.  We were so thankful that his regular carer, Michael, was here as he just took charge and made sure Dad looked comfortable and was laid out properly.

Dad's last few months were so difficult for him and Mum.  He deteriorated so rapidly after their visit to us kids in Melbourne last August (to meet his twin Grandsons).  At that time he was still talking, eating and walking, but in recent weeks he was immobile, only drinking a few things (like coffee and his favourite tomato juice), and struggling to speak.  It was so heartbreaking bringing him home on Wednesday.  (He had a difficult journey as he cannot hold up his own head and it fell back during the journey).  It took some time for us to calm him down, but by later in the evening he was relaxed and happy watching 'The House of Elliot' on DVD.


I sure feel privileged that I could be here to support my Mum and to spend time with Dad these last days.  No one could ask for a better father.  He was the one who first told and showed me our Father's love too!  He preached the word with such integrity and passion, using stories to touch the heart and light a fire in the soul of anyone who heard him.  A couple of his sermon's are online, if you'd like to hear an example!  I'll attach a link.  If the topic was mission he was even more passionate... being a mission-kid and missionary himself.  He took God's word seriously and he and my mum always opened their home and lives to whoever needed them.  They have friends from all walks of life, religious faith, sexual orientation - none of these mattered to my Dad who just loved everyone he met.  We have been flooded with phone calls, visits, messages and facebook posts (over 50 just on my wall!) of those who fondly remember Roger.  I'm working on a poem that I'll put on my writing site.  It has been hard to write through all this, but my Dad was just so special that the words just come flooding out!

Dad and I had a pretty special relationship.  We were a bit like two peas in a pod!  (It often used to frustrate my family, especially Mum...)  We loved the same kind of things and enjoyed visiting Art galleries and museums together as we both loved to read all the citations!!  I remember all the special times I spent with Dad.  He took me to Melbourne Zoo for the day when I was having trouble saying goodbye to Panton Hill.  We went on a month-long road-trip from Adelaide to Darwin while Dad did deputation for Church Missionary Society.  He met my plane in Frankfurt last year and we spent 3 days in Dresden together (he made me wait half an hour so he could see the other locomotive on the model railway in Grosse Garden!).  Then earlier this year I took him up to New Norcia (a monastic town North of Perth). 

He'll be a hard yard-stick to measure up to.  He was gentle, considerate and kind.  He encouraged as well as provided guidance and fair discipline and most of all he just loved my Mum to bits and pieces!!

Dad, I miss you already, but I know you're in a better place now.  Father, I thank you for giving us Roger Kenneth Ridley for 58 wonderful years, you obviously need him more than we do, and I know you'll welcome him as a good and faithful servant.  I know you're singing at the top of your lungs in Brandenburg Praise room now Dad.  You've had a raucous reunion with Howard, your parents and others.  Dad, you helped me become the woman I am today, a servant of Jesus and a lover of life!  Thank you, and see you soon!

Joce xo xo xo xo

Dad and Martin Luther - Dresden, July 2010

Dad & Joce on the model railway - Grosse Garden, Dresden 2010
Joce & Dad at Thai restaurant, Dresden July 2010

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Under the stars in Perth

I've been in Perth since Wednesday.  It has been good to spend time with Mum & Dad and provide them with any support that I can.  Hopefully Dad will come home early next week.  Dad's brother and sister-in-law are here too, and we're taking them out tonight for a free concert.  The West Australian Symphony Orchestra and Chorus under the stars.  It should be lovely.

The weather hasn't been too hot since I've been here, its actually been hotter in Melbourne!  I don't mind, it means I haven't had any trouble getting a good night's sleep and Mum has been sleeping better since my arrival too.

We are trying to get organised for all that is to come.  No one thinks Dad has long to go now, so we try to make the most of the time we have left.  All your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.

What are you doing to prepare for Christmas this year...?

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Up in the Air

My life is all a bit up in the air at the moment... both literally and metaphorically.  I'm in the throws of moving house at present to no fixed abode.  I reality I will be helping to take care of my Dad in Perth, but I'll be living out of a suitcase in various places so not fixed there either.


I'm not a huge fan of all this uncertainty.  In many respects I've been here before, but I've never waited for someone this close to be to be called home.  It is hard to watch my Dad fading away and I hope it doesn't drag out too long for all our sakes.  He's had a good and fruitful life with much to thank God for, so I will have to keep that in mind all the time.

I'm really going for Mum's sake, so I hope I can be all that she needs at this time.  Not that I can hope to fill in all the gaps, but I'm going to need all the strength I can get.  So if you're of the praying inclination, that would be much appreciated.

I intend to return to Melbourne sometime in the New Year and take up that Millinery course at TAFE.  Can you see me as a Milliner?  In my wildest dreams I'd love to spend a year or so in Paris honing my craft, wouldn't that be something?!

Its at these times in life when our dreams are really important.  We all need something to look forward to.  Christmas for my family this year won't be as joyous as usual, but we knew that was always going to be on the cards.  None of us looks forward to saying goodbye to a loved one, but I just want to do it well.

I'll keep you in touch with my adventures as they come....